Holy cow Vs. Jewish Zombie

Ok
I tend to express my religious views as being Hindu.
Im not exactly hindu but thats the viewpioint that most closely matches my own.
I am an exytremely open person though and i believe that all religious convictions are completely false and completely true
Yes this does mean im hypocritical
i prefer to call it Ambiguosly Religious
But yeah
So i support everybody in their own personal religious convictions.
I dont discriminate, I mean i have christian friends, Muslim Friends, Catholics, Satanist, Freemanist, and whatnots, and i love every single one of them.
But you know what i HATE HATE HATE
i mean like really
Its really
a
Horribly
Assinine
Traitorus
Effectation
of mine.

When one religion knocks another religion because one doesn't make sense
No really
Whose to talk

Ok case in point.
I have a crazy fiendish religious friend whosea Catholic, and he was sayoing i shouldnt be Hindu because IT DOENT MAKE SENSE
so im like what?
He's like yeah
Um dont you worsship cows or something
and believe and like 6 billion gods and reincarnation
and all of this illogical stuff
You should like be christian because is so muchg more reasonable

WELL LETS SEE HOW REASONABLE THIS IS:
christity. the belief that some cosmic jewish zombie will give your eternal life if you telepathically make him master of your soul and symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood. The act of doing this will rid your souls of the Impurities that were put there by a rib womaan who was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree that contained all knowledge

Yet im the crazy illogical one
RRRRRRRIIIIIGGGHHHHHHHT!!!!!!!!
Im not knocking christianity by any means
im just saying
ALL RELIGIONS MAKE NO SENSE
ALL
But it's cool
You just have to accept that there are thing you wilkl never understand
and any way
Every one likes cows
Where else would holy cow come from?

ok rat Traps
I HATE RAT TRAPS
no realy i do
im 150% serious
they are inhumane and totally unnnessecary
I cant even type straight
So heres the story
Basically you know those sticky paper mpuse traps
thats suppose3d to catch mice as they run across?
Basically i saw this happen
it did not catch the mouse
BUt waht it did do is catch the mouse's leg
Basically Before: Mouse with 4 legs
After: Mouse with 3 legs

That HORRIBLE
and then like the cartoon mousetraps
There even worse
I've seen a mouse get trapped by its TOUNGE
i didnt even know mice had tounges before this
But yeah
Imagine being starved to death trapped by your tounge to a metal pole and a peice of wood
Yeah
And i can understand the need to get rid of the mouse
But get this
IT"S YOUR FAULT THEIR THERE
thats right
i said it
YOUR FAULT.
Why
because contrary to popular belief
Mice are not stupid
They go where there's food
And if your houswe is dirty funky and nasty
Then you invited them over wth your filthyness
In fact there helping you clean up
If you just CLEANED YOUR DAMN HOUSe
they'd leave. They wouldnt stay where theres no food
There like the black people at parties.
So yeah
and the other thing
their filthy and carry disease
SO ARE PEOPLE
there are whole hosts of diseases you can catch from people
STD's AIDS, TB, the Cold, The Flu
and you dnt shun them
so really
Be humane
Clean your House

P.D.A's

Ok another hetero rant
Im in the movies
Its Completely crowded and packed
when i get kicked in the shin
And im like WTF
So i look over to the right where the foot came from
And CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY AND GIRL ARE TOTALLY HAVING A HOT STEAMY MAKE OUT SESSION
Here i am interrupted during my matinee cuz im too cheap o pay full price
trying to get entertainment from watching Angelina on screen again
So you can get a cheap second hand movie theater grope
And this lead me to think
Why are heteros so flagrant with there P.D.A.s
I mean i get citied and glared at just because i hold hands with a guy in the park
This elderbitch even had the nerve to tell me that my bf had better be my brother
i was all like "Um no, this is ho #16, were looking for a public spot to have anal sex so we can educate on how to spread AIDS"
lol
seriously i said that
But My guy was all mad i called him a ho
lmao
but i digress
I dont care if you love her
I dont care if you just want sex
Go do it in your portable mobile home and let me watch wanted
dammit
Angelina actually had a whole paragraph to say

Ass Ass Ass

Ok
Heres the story
I was talking one of my hetero friends the other day, and were real cool and all and i happened to mention about how this guy i know has the MOST adorable asses. And hes all like Of course you like his ass Your Gay
Excuse Me?
What is with you Differents a.k.a. heteros and your flagrant analphobia
I cant help that certain people have rather nicely shaped derrieres
But that does not mean im obsessed or that i have any specific designs on it
Im not some rampant anal sex fiend, that is not what being gay means
Its not my central interest in guys
I mean whoever made up the concept of dropping the soap was obviously a disillusioned retard
theres so much more you can do with a standing guy

You differents don't have to worry about me losing control and obsessively humping your rear
If i liked a guy id probably make out with him First of All
If that was ok and he seemed good for me that might evolve into other things involving my complete fascination with the phallic member
But the ass
thats serious
And would take a long long long time for me to go there
And i would have to be seriously interestes
Evn then ... idk

I mean if you really want to know
Im freaked out by the concept of full out Macho man sex
it seems rather. . .
Messy?
So yeah when i dream about sex or look up gay porn(Which i most certainly DO NOT do. . . frequently)
I am not thinking about anal sex
Very Rarely does it even occur to me

Wait
Wait
Wait


BREAKTHROUGH
Guys are stupid
Maybe in your twisted different minds you equate like this
Straight sex=VAGINA
Gay sex=ASSHOLE
I can see how the misconception can occur as they are in roughly the same area code
But to say that there inter changeable completely misses the point of being gay If i can make such a bold statemnt
Since ive been gay for 12 years of my life longer than mosts athletes careers i can say its pretty safe to say i Like GUYS over ASSHOLES
I mean besides those two i dated back in the 9th grade but thats a different story
But yeah the point is i like guys because there guys
Otherwise to take your limited hetero logic
The only reason you like "chicks" is because the have Vaginas
What
You Do!!
Maybe thas why girls like gay guys then
Because they actually like them as people
and value them for qualities that they dont share with dogs, cats and horses